License plate on the car in front of me at 7:45 this morning:
GOTPORK

...No?
Why would I have pork?
Or shout affirmation of this in your general direction?
Honk if you're porky.
Haha...

Oh delirium, you never fail to amuse.

Almond Roca is the shit.

I spent the afternoon with my mom yesterday, working on the art-space project. I like my mom. Getting out of the house, shopping like a girl (Pretty would have crafted himself a noose if I made him compare throw pillows and color combos) and then being productive on my project and seeing actual results..it was awesome. Complete mood change. Pretty is smart, convincing me to call my mom. Tricksy bastard.

I'm hoping I have not just jinxed myself. The work load this week is gonna be intense and the chance of a full-blown break down have increased dramatically. But we shall see.

End scene.

I love my Love Puppy.
I was sick when I got home from work today. It wasn't pretty. I didn't acknowledge anyone/thing for several minutes, focusing only on the need to lie down/die. The Love Puppy looked like she was going to explode with Puppy Emotion and kept trying to get my attention. When I finally pet her, it was as though she said "Oh thank God!" and snugged up on me like a small child. And then refused to move. It made me feel better. She's crafty, my Love Puppy.

Today I checked my mail and discovered I had five packages. FIVE. It was like effing Christmas. Definitely the highlight of my day. Lots of pretties.

Speaking of Pretties...

Pretty is taking a full-load of classes right now to make his pharmacy school application even more awesome. It's really weird. For the bulk of our relationship, I have been in the one in school. I don't envy him, man. The full-time work/school combo can be rough. It's kinda funny that he's taking these classes though because he already has a chemistry degree and has to take basic courses at the community college now.
Funny/expensive and time consuming.
Oh well.

I have this fantasy world in my head where I jet off to my grandparent's house in Wyoming without warning and stay as long as I damn well please. I keep picturing movie scenes with stressed out women hiding at the family cabin to hang out on the porch and drink lots of tea. I wanna go to Wyoming and drink tea on the porch. And see lots of green. And spend time with my Gigi. And stroll around downtown to pick up some books and read them on the porch while drinking tea. And paint with my Papa. And breathe clean air. Etc.
I've been wanting to go back for ages, but keep finding other things to spend the plane ticket money on. I promised my grandparents I would visit this summer, and plan to keep that promise. But summer is really, really far away...

It's been rainy here lately. Although I think the lack of sunshine is contributing to my recent increase of depressive symptoms, it has changed the atmosphere around here. Tucson feels really different when it's cold and rainy. Cold may not really be the best word, as my Flagstaff buddies endure yet another snow storm, but you get the idea.
The rain has taught me that there is a leak in the skylight in my bathroom. (No, I don't know why there is a skylight there). This is amusing because I've been wondering why the bath mat is always wet, but never bothered to piece it together. I've been especially spacey lately.

I want to write a how-to guide on relationships. A funny one, obviously. Seriousness is rarely a good time. Daily life is serious enough, thankyouverymuch. I've been wanting to do this for awhile now. Not that I am in any way an expert on the topic, I just think it would be an amusing thing to write about.

I haven't been keeping up with the list of things that make me happy on this blog. I wrote a rather lengthy list of these at work while I was hating life slightly more than usual (kidding). Can't remember if I discussed this here yet...Regardless, the list was interesting. At first, I put a lot of thought into what I wrote down, but I eventually just wrote whatever came to mind. A bunch of people who's existance I prefer to ignore came up. Also, I learned that sprinkles came to mind way before any sort activity. Which is funny. And maybe a little embarrassing. Mostly funny though.

I am no longer speaking to a certain parasitic pharmacy.
No need to name names.
Or point fingers.
But it's all your fault.
And I'm telling.

Princess Pants has lost her damn mind.
Maybe it's contagious.
Sorry, Lady. I swears it wasn't on purpose.
"Isn't that cute? He's all like, checking my vitals."

Pretty has caught the Etsy bug.
He's excited because he just bought a vintage organic chemistry textbook.Of course he did. Surrounded by beautiful hand-made goodies, and he finds a textbook.
He took me on an adventure to Almost Mexico over the weekend. He rowed me around in a boat and then we had a picnic.
It was almost cute enough to elicit a gag reflex.
...Who talks like me?

So far, this year has been weird. Super weird. I continue to feel like nothing that's happening around me is real and have to put extra effort in distinguishing dreams from reality. Not that anything earth-shattering is going on. Maybe that's why it can be hard to keep track. Lots of dull, nothing worth recalling.

Still can't explain this effectively.
So damn tired. All the time.
A little motivation would be great.
Gonna snug bug the Love Puppy now.

You don't have to act like you don't read my blog :) silly gooses

There are few things in this world that I love more than coconut. (Pretty: Am I one of them? Me: Perhaps.)
Ohmygod.
White chocolate, too. But only certain kinds.
If I could find out where to get the white chocolate that Ben and Jerry's uses...oh man. That would be intense.
...There is no way to tell the story I want to share without serious regrets...
However, it ends with finding white chocolate WITH COCONUT IN IT.
And that's all that matters, if you ask me. Really. In this moment I can think of nothing more significant than this particular discovery.
Yes, I'm kidding.

So I don't know what I did, but as of this moment it feels as though I've been spending my sleepy time either wrestling large creatures or lifting vehicles.
(...wrestling the creatures of the night...why is this so funny to me?)
Ouch.
Whatever it was, the muscle in my thigh/hip I utilize most while driving was actively engaged.
I determined this just moments ago when I decided I'd rather die in a fiery crash than brake anymore.
So now I can't move. Correction: I won't move. I refuse. Please fetch me some muscle relaxers.

If it's not one thing, it's another.
Dumb.

It seems that I am not the only person who has felt odd and spacey for the last week or so.
Like nothing has been truly real.
Just...weird.
Can't explain it.
Awkward.

I have so many cavities.

Today was a much better day.

Too tired to think. I somehow managed to have bad anxiety while half-sleeping last night...dreaming about having panic attacks and then waking up to a panic attack.
All.night.long.

New focus: sleeping and eating.
As much as possible.
Emphasis on the eating.
Lots and lots of eating.
I've pretty much gotten over the fear of any food that could make me barf.
Because that's always the best food.
Also, getting kind of used to the barfing. Just a part of life.

Princess Pants talked to Pretty about her boy issues today.
And it was the goddamn funniest thing I've seen in quite awhile.

Unexpected good mood. Gonna try to make it last. My lover is HOME and this is all I need. Ice cream, movies, early bedtime- perfect ending to this day.

Ugh.
Just...ugh.
This last week has been brutal.
Bru-tal.

UGH.

The Love Puppy is concerned about my emotional well-being.

Just lays on me and stares, attempting to heal with her loving gaze.
Sigh.

Positive...say something positive...

Pretty has an admissions interview at the U of A Pharmacy School tomorrow.
It's kind of exciting.
He has been wanting to get into a PharmD program since before we even knew each other. It's crazy to think that the final step towards this goal will happen tomorrow.
TOMORROW.
He's super nervous about it, but I know he'll do great.
'Cause he's awesome.
And awesome people do great things.

Our anniversary is coming up.
We aren't really at that lovey I'm-amazed-you-still-tolerate-me phase anymore.
Now it's more of a "You still here? Fair enough. Think you could maybe put the fucking dishes away??" deal.
But perhaps a little more enthusiastic.
It's still nice.
Stability is good.
Plus, I reckon I enjoy his company.
Four years and not one domestic violence charge = success.

I wish I could adequately explain this bizarre, 50-emotions-in-one-day mindset that I've had going for the last week-ish, but...can't. Obviously.

Anyway.
I had to take two design courses for my art minor.
The biggest perk of this requirement was that it showed me I have no interest/talent in design. Like, at all.
It's good to know what you're not good at, so you can cross it off the ol' list of Crap to Try.
Yes, I have one of these

I think my unsteady hands were the primary contributors to this shameful deficiency.
A lot of what we were assigned involved making these perfect, clean, straight lines.
Can't do it.
Lots of re-dos.

This definitely falls in the in the category of "Why are you torturing me with something I could do on a computer??"
I feel the same way about math.
Except more passionately so.
When I had to re-learn math for the GRE, this was a frequent frustration.
I get the need to understand the basics for daily functioning.
But I don't need to know how many apples Susie will have when Fred has 5 oranges.
I do not plan on going into the produce industry.
Also, I could count. Or ask.
I'd hope the grocery would have some sort of inventory system developed and not have to ask such questions.

I have a computer. And a phone that's almost a computer. And calculators on both. And a walking-Encyclopedia boyfriend who probably already knows the standard apples-to-oranges ratio utilized by the average market. Even if I didn't ask, he'd tell me anyway.


I am feeling much better now.
I threw up water this morning. Which is way TMI.
Water is the most pleasant thing to barf up. Hardly noticeable.



So my vay-cay is obviously canceled.

During one of the countless crazy-person mood swings, I got incredibly emotional about this.
But then Pretty reminded me that it's still going to be a long weekend.
And I was stunned.
Because this hadn't yet occurred to me.
So we might do something.
And I am feeling incredibly positive about this.

...The.End.

This is my fantasy vacation at the moment. I keep trying to plan a trip, but it seems I'm the only one of those I know who fancies such things.
It's the Forest Houses Resort in Sedona, AZ. They have a lot of different houses you can rent and the one pictured is called the Tree House (!!!). I want to stay there so badly. How wonderful would it be to gather family and friends (some allow pets, too) to spend a long weekend in gorgeous Sedona, shaded by trees and next to Oak Creek. With fireplaces and kitchens and the comfort of being left the eff alone to whatever extent you please.

I love Sedona. This is a little shocking, since I don't like being outside, but Sedona is different. It is wonderful. While I was living in Flagstaff, there were many days when Pretty and I would decide to take the 45 minute drive down for some sunshine and good grub. We don't really have anything like that here in Tucson. The ability to leave the cold and snow, and enter warmth and sunshine (and an actual city with restaurants and things to do) within an hour is rare.

I miss it. A lot.
We thought about moving Sedona, since it makes us both crazy-happy, but decided against it. We know from previous moves that the grass truly is always greener on the other side, and didn't want to risk losing this Special Place. Best to keep it special. Also, it's ass expesive to live/breathe there, so that was also taken into account. Maybe in another life...

I am currently uber-bummed that I won't get that vaycay I've been literally counting down the seconds to. No, really, I have a countdown going on my computer at this exact moment. Knowing that each time I have to stick my head in the toilet means one less day of vacation is devastating. Also symbolic, if you think about it.


The quarter life crisis has gotten more noticable again. I feel unbearably, overwhelmingly stuck.


Please plan my life for me. I don't wanna anymore.

This is officially my third attempt at writing a "Yay! New Year! Wahoo!" post.
Probably because I don't care too much.
Also, there have been a lot of odd things happening in the last three days, and I'm not sure how I feel about any of them.
Furthermore, each attempt has turned really mean and bitter, which I don't feel like starting this new year with.
Like, really mean.

Um...so here are random tid-bits and thoughts, in hope of summing up without the overkill.


"People are always asking if you're engaged yet."
Ugh.
Really?
And is the yet really necessary?

Pretty shamelessly got me drunk on New Years Eve.

There is a new tattoo I want...just trying to figure out where.

The dry winter air has led to excessive in-shower moisturizing, which obviously then led to a slippery floor and a new bruise on my shin.

Uugggh food poisoning.